F U sleep!

If I were to have a phrase sum up my existence, it would be "I can't sleep when I want to, and I want to sleep when I can't". Ugh. So, yes, I am awake right now. Wide-awake, to be exact. I tried sleeping for an hour and a half, and I just can't do it. Sleep is my drug. My dream in life is to be able to fall asleep in less than half an hour, and actually STAY asleep for a full 8, then wake up refreshed! But, nooooo. That'd be too easy! Instead, I toss and turn for at least an hour, then sleep in 2-hour increments, and then wake up feeling like my brain got mauled by a rabid badger. Then I hear "You sleep more than any person I know!" from Lovah. Um... no. I don't. I promise. That 10 hours I was IN bed? I probably slept for maybe 5 of them, and not all at once! That is why I hold my sleep very dear to me. If I am woken up unnecessarily, I may just rip out your heart and shove it down your throat. I also sleep in "Mom Mode". I will sleep through a severe storm, sirens going off, a wall being sledge-hammered down, or with a tv/radio blaring. BUT if a door slams (which ALWAYS HAPPENS!!!!), a kid cries/wines, something (ANYTHING) is dropped/broken, a bathroom is entered, or a board creaks on the stairs.... I am instantly and irreversibly awake. And, chances are, crabbier than a rabid, starving, cornered wolverine. I will kill you, and I will be acquitted by reason of insanity, and I will be EVER so fucking happy to live out my days in a padded/sound-proof cell where I can have some peace and fucking quiet for once while I sleep. Feel free to visit!

On a completely random and totally unrelated note, I love my job! Or, well, most of my job anyway. There is one part of my job that also makes me feel like the aforementioned padded room just might be the place for me. These are the types of things I hear from the day shift (I work NOC shift, that is overnights):

"I wish you were on days!"
"I wish every CNA worked as hard as you do!"
"We can tell when you don't work, and you are sorely missed!"
"You know how to get shit done well, and the right way"

Yep, I am boasting! And I deserve to! For once, I am not being treated like a worthless piece of shit, I don't have stupid fucking childish rumors going around about me, I'm not being sabotaged or bitched at every 2 seconds. I feel like I am part of a team for once! Except for the one bitch I hate and can't stand. She is a terrible, lazy, sloppy, worthless aid. Twice in a week now, I have spotted something alarming on a resident and she has said, and I quote "That happens all the time, it's no big deal. There's nothing you can do about it anyway." I hope she never takes care of any of my loved ones! One lady ended up being brought to the doctor and possibly has pneumonia and the other lady HAD BLUE FUCKING FINGERS!!! Yeah, no big deal. I'll remember that when your fat ass drops from an impending asthma attack. Bitch. Residents complain about her all the time. She needs to be fired.

That's enough complaining for today!