Bah! Stress! So The Goob has been sick on and off for about two weeks. I really have to stop praising her AWESOME immune system. Two trips to the ER/urgent care in the past two weeks, and I am damn sick of the place. I have also been nursing a sinus infection (it's a chronic condition for me) for about a week now. I actually almost prefer to work with a sinus infection. Then I don't have to smell all the poo at work. But my ears also plug up so I can't hear call lights and alarms. But, I can't complain... at least I have a job. For now, anyway. They are all either dying or moving to another facility. It's scary! We're at a skeleton crew at night (four aides) as it is, but they LOVE cutting costs when it comes to us and the nurses, so who knows. We're already short-staffed so I don't think it'll really affect us as of yet, but I will be keeping my eyes peeled. I really need to go back to school....
The Goob is doing great in Head Start! Biting every now and then, but doing well. Her appointment for behavioral problems is on Friday, and it can't come soon enough! She will be screened for autism, aspergers, ADHD, sensory problems, and general behavioral problems. I keep hemming and hawing about whether or not I think there's a problem. I lean more towards yes she does, but then I get told by my parents (who, despite their 32+ years of experience REALLY don't know too much about being good parents) about how stupid I am and that she is perfectly normal and it's all my fault because I wasn't married first so I'm putting her through a tragic childhood and that is the only reason she ever has any problems. Because apparently I'm the first single mother on the planet. Like I did this on purpose. Assholes. Catholics don't have SHIT on my parents when it comes to guilt trips. Though, my dad was raised Catholic, and he makes everything my fault. Nothing is ever his. And my mom is a woman, and guilt-tripping is in our DNA. Hell, Goob already tells me "You make me sad, Mama" when she gets in trouble! I can't escape it!
So I go to court (FINALLY) on Thursday morning. It is the state of Wisconsin and myself vs. the DBD (dead beat dad... Goob's dad) for child support. I am sick of nay-sayers telling me how nothing is gonna happen *cough* Darth Vader *cough*. You don't know my situation or the hell I've been going through the last 3 years to squeeze out the tiniest of payments out of him. He's screwed no matter what, so I'm not worried. All this court date is going to do is set up another court date and blah blah blah, idiotic rhetoric. He's in trouble regardless of how things go, he is in contempt. I'm GIDDY with excitement! The only thing I hate is this: I get paid from him from his job for the summer months when he's out of school (June, July, August). BUT for the other nine months of the year, I am paid through his GI Bill that is paying for his college. Which is from the government. Which is from the taxpayers. He doesn't EARN his child support, he refuses to get a job while going to school full time like EVERY OTHER FUCKING PERSON. Well, the ones who aren't rich anyway. So not only does he get a free ride to school, he gets a free ride with child support. He also gets student loans just to live off of on top of the GI Bill. Ridiculous? Um, yeah. Also pathetic. He can't even work to support his child. Do I get a break if I go back to school full-time? No! I will still have to work full-time and take care of The Goob! Lovah doesn't even want me to go back to school ever cuz he says it won't be possible. It would be incredibly hard. I'd love to, but I don't really think I'd get any support or help for it. I don't think it's fair. I didn't make this child alone. He gets to party, have fun, go to school, not work, do whatever the fuck he wants. I'd like to just be able to go to school, but we are poor and I will have to work full-time until the day I drop over dead. I will never get maternity leave (paid, anyway), I will never be a SAHM, nothing. I had an ovary removed last year, I had to take care of The Goob as a 2-year-old in a second story apartment. I did laundry, cleaned, played with her, and got nowhere near enough rest. I get 1 week off for abdominal surgery, to go back to work and NOT be physically ready to go back to work. Lovah and I are talking about when we start trying for a child after we get married. We are going to have to save a TON of money in order for me to get a month off, because I will only have 1 maybe 2 weeks of paid vacation/sick time, and there will be bills to pay and things to buy for longer than that. And if the birth is anything like Goob's... I will need at LEAST a month off. Ach, I get stressed even thinking about it.
On the plus side, I think I found a workout for the wedding!! I need to lose a good 15-20 pounds (hopefully even more!) and only 8-9 months to lose it! Too bad I love eating and hate throwing up, bah.
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