Losing it

So much crap getting so much worse. I have to call like fifty people today once I get my new phone. I think I'll start with Dr. Russia, my pediatrician. The Goob is getting so much worse, and fast. The tantrums are about hourly now. She pretty much isn't allowed near Loo cuz she'll physically attack her. She's biting herself and/or others multiple times a day, screaming all the time. I really feel like I can't do this another minute, let alone forever. It's killing Lovah and I because we can't agree on how to handle it, his daughter doesn't know what the hell to think, and poor Goob is going to end up in the nuthouse and/or hospital. But she's fine, nothing is wrong. Totally normal behavior. What do I know? Every kid does this? Every parent is afraid of their child injuring themselves on purpose all the time? Apparently people think I am pretty stupid.

I also need to call my Ob/Gyn about what to do about my IUD. Mine is migrating, and it needs to come out before it ends up completely destroying my insides, or migrating through my uterus. I amsaying "Fuck off" to birth control because I am 100% sure it's been my problem since Goob was born. Ever since my IUD migrated, I have normal periods! The pain is getting worse, but that's always been the trade-off. I either bleed til I need the ER or I am in pain equivalent to childbirth. Pain is easier dealt with, I've discovered. I've dealt with the bleeding a while, and my tolerance to Tylenol has gone down (1500 mg doses instead of 2000 does the trick!), so I figure I'll go this route a while. My liver and kidneys have been benched long enough! Besides, we will be trying for a baby in 8 months, so it'll be just fine!

Then I still have the wedding stuff, goob's school stuff, buying all her winter clothes for outside, etc... anyone who has any help whatsoever with buying their kids anything.... you are so fucking lucky! Lovah helps where he can, but he has his own child to support. I get a small amount of child support and no extra help with school pictures, outdoor clothes for winter, school supplies, nothing. Thankfully I picked up extra shifts so I can afford to get this stuff today, at the cost of almost all my time with Lovah. Meanwhile, DBD has no job because he goes to school a couple hours a day for a career he will NEVER get a job in. I sure can pick 'em. Not that I picked him to create a child with, but at least I learned my lesson there!